Posts by Mr Ben

27

My daughter is scared of crocodiles. Any advice?

by myauntfanny in

every few nights my daughter calls me in and says she's worried about the crocodile coming to get her.

i know some people on here have small children (she's three), what do you say to them?

i tell her there's not really any crocodiles, but it doesn't seem to help.

Mr Ben

[Slight out-take on a current beer advert in the UK]

Tell her that crocodiles live in the swamp and are absolutely no danger whilst she is safely in the house.... It's the burglers climbing in through the windows that she needs to worry about!

70

Hi, I'm new to the site, and kind of don't understand...

by my-journey in

jw
friends

i was just curious as to the aim of this website?

i thought it was a discussion board for those interested in/ for jehovah's witnesses, but it seems like you're all former jehovah's witnesses?

so is this site just to bash jehovah's witnesses?

Welcome. Keep what is left of what was clearly once an open mind. Perhaps some other research sites on the WTS will give you more food for thought than this forum immediately appears to provide. A lot of people are here for reasons pertaining to emotional support and recovery from their painful experience with the WTS - something that may not be an issue for you... yet.

Try:

http://www.geocities.com/osarsif/index2.htm

http://watchtower.observer.org/

Consider some of the examples of out and out lies in the WT literature at these sites and them come back here and start a thread. You might want to try and justify the use of such lies by the WTS, or you might want to express your deep concern at the use of such practices by those claiming to serve a deity. You will likely get a variety of replies, some very well thought out, some just angry, some trying to convince you of a different belief system etc etc

Let me start you off: When is a chimpanzee not a chimpanzee? [You will need the blue book, "How did life get here? By evolution or creation?" to follow this one. Do you really want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes?

Welcome again,

Ben

50

Finish this sentence...trying to reason with a JW is like......

by doodle-v in

jw
friends

trying to reason with a devout jehovah's witness is like........

Mr Ben

Trying to reason with a JW is like........

...asking the Terminator not to come back.

I'll be back.

Don't come back.

I'll be back.

Don't come back.

I'll be back...

26

Jesus will decide where dubs live after Armageddon

by gumby in

boy did i get a laugh!

i just read a few paragrphs from an older publication from the society.

it's called "the meek shall inherit the earth" written in 1945....pages 24-27. after armageddon....dubs will be assigned where they will live.....they can't choose their spot.

Mr Ben

Prince Smith: Now then Ben. You have been called before this committee as a result of your failure to lovingly tend the holy acre of land assigned to you by me, erm, by Jesus. It had been reported by Brother Nosy Next Door Neighbour that the grass has been left uncut for 2 full weeks. Do you not appreciate the glorious gift from the King?

Mr Ben: I only went on holiday. You know, just to get away from it all.

Prince Smith: On holiday? We don?t need holidays in Paradise! We demand to know why do you are not content with Paradise!

Mr Ben: Well, you know. I spend hours and hours making and mending my rags, ever since the shops were all destroyed. I spend the rest of my day eeking out a few vegetables from that sorry bit of ground you decided was my gift from Jesus. There is no running water anymore and there is no sewer connected to my land either, which means I walk several miles a day, since all mechanical transport has disappeared, to fetch two buckets of water from the river next to your house to grow my few sorry, permanently thirsty, vegetables and to wash myself in readiness for the nightly meeting when I will be told off again about not been smart enough and unshaved again since Gillette & Wilkinson Sword were struck down from upon high. So I went on holiday. But when I got there, everything was destroyed. And no-one would take me in or give me a meal because they are all half starved and justified not helping me because I had a beard.

Prince Smith: It is clear you do not appreciate your Paradise on earth. I am therefore re-assigning the land to be divided among the remainder of the congregation. You are also now considered bad association, and an announcement will be made at tonight?s meeting, when it will be decided if you are to be put to death. There will be no appeal. Take the evildoer away.

Mr Ben: But it was just a little break that?s all! I do appreciate my gift! I do! I do! I really do! Please have mercy!

Prince Smith: You are in Jehovah?s hands now. Take him away!

[Poor old Mr Ben is dragged away.]

Prince Brown: That went well Prince Smith.

Prince Smith: Yes indeed Prince Brown. Soon all the land will be re-assigned to mine and your families.

Prince Brown: You can say that again Prince Smith. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Prince Smith: Ha ha ha ha ha!

12

Ever Come Face To Face With An Apostate???

by Hunyadi in

jw
friends

wow, i remember when i was 19, newly married with my first kid, and was very zealous for the work of the wt.

i was working in a building supplies store when in walks a fella by the name of peter barnes!

omg it was him!

Mr Ben

Every time I look in the mirror? scary! He he?

51

What's The Worst Scandal You Know Regarding Jehovah's Witnesses?

by minimus in

jw
friends

.....whether it be in the congregation or from "headquarters"?

Mr Ben

Advertise! Advertise! Advertise!

Thousands Dying Will Never Live!

No you can't have a vaccine! Oh... go on then. But listen, you definitely MUST NOT have an organ transplant on pain of.. oh well all right then. But listen! You absolutely must not EVER, have one single drop of blood! And that's final! Sorry, what fraction...?

25

Which would you do? Either? Neither? Both?

by onacruse in

a thought experiment:.

scene a: imagine you're at the controls of a trolley and the brakes have failed.

you're approaching a fork in the track at top speed.

Mr Ben

Ok, what if there were 4 innocent children that were going to die, would you direct the train to 4 retards? I was only wondering, 'cos there are a few children in the BRI waiting for transplants and there are a few spare retards up at the mental hospital...

9

use of animal blood in transfusions

by galaxy7 in

the policy on hemoglobin and other blood fractions was changed in the june 15, 2000 issue of the watchtower.

this latest change may in fact cause further confusion for many witnesses since products like hemopure are derived from large quantities of stored animal blood.

numerous witnesses have questioned the logic of such an internally inconsistent dogma.

Mr Ben

Hi Galaxy7,

Where is the first, main quote from?

25

Which would you do? Either? Neither? Both?

by onacruse in

a thought experiment:.

scene a: imagine you're at the controls of a trolley and the brakes have failed.

you're approaching a fork in the track at top speed.

Mr Ben

Supposing the train will hit 5 grannies unless you divert it off to kill 4 children? What to do?

21

Is it respectful to call God by name?

by woodland in

i was just wondering what your views were about calling god jehovah.

i appreciate that there is scriptures that says to call on his name, but if i were to meet the queen or president bush it would grossly disrespectful to say hi there elizabeth or how you doing george.

if this is the case with mere men and women in positions of power, is it not imaginable to address god on first name terms?

Mr Ben

Father Franz

Who art in heaven?

I?m sure a most serene and beautiful ?embodiment? of love couldn?t care less what name we use. I call her Selene for some reason. I used to use a different name. As the Bard said, ?A rose smells as sweet??